I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize