I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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