NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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