Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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