I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize