i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
MIDGETS
????
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
is it fun? or sober?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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