i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize