so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize