best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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