i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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