I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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