brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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