He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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