i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize