Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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