This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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