she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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