R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize