I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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