did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
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Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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