If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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