If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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