I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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