Can Purell be used as lube?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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