I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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