Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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