he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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