I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize