just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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