You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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