he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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