i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize