She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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