That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize