her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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