FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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