A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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