I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize