I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
now i know why i became what i already was.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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