I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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