your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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