i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize