I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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