omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize