Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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