It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize