May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize