do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Come share oat with me in your robe
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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