I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize