Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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